SUZAN’S WORDS

These are my words for court. Please understand much was spoken from the heart that day and not just from this page. It was a very difficult thing to do…Suzan Dillahunty

Written for the Judge:

Your Honor, I am grateful to finally be here today 15 months and 17 days after my son died at the hands of Milton Willis. It is finally the turn of family and friends to get to speak their minds. Before addressing him I have a question or series of questions for you. They are of course rhetorical…

We are all brought here today into this arena NOT because we asked to be here, but because of the actions of Milton Willis who acted Recklessly, Dangerously, and Carelessly with a human life. My son Bradley James Dillahunty the most precious person in the world to me other than his father, died as a result of choices Milton made.

The question is: What is the going rate for my son’s life? Is it the four years recommended by Mr. Dick the Court Probation Officer, who in my opinion did not do his homework on this one? After all, Milton said in his own letter to you that he was his mother’s caregiver. That is strange because the conversation I had with his sister she claims to be the caregiver. Also he claims not to do drugs. That is funny — then how did the THC get in his system that is on record? Most importantly regarding his words is that my son, Brad would not want him to go to jail. Quite the contrary. Brad would never have wanted Milton to disregard his Responsibility in his death and the lack of remorse he has shown to his family and friends would have infuriated my son. Your Honor I think I know Brad much better than Milton Willis.

Is the 6 year sentence recommended by the D.A. Matt Tag the right amount of time?  The District Attorney is the one who put the case together. He and his team have the most time invested in getting to the truth. I want you to know I am in favor of the time the D.A. has recommended for a multitude of reasons. I would also like to thank Matt Tag and his team for their integrity, perseverance, and dedication to Brad and the people of San Diego County. They should be proud.

The other day I was reading a story on Yahoo news that was about some man who worked for the American Idol production company and had lured teenage girls to have sex with him and promised they would appear on the show. Apparently the sentence range for that sexual misconduct or crime is 59 years to life? So, how can Brad’s life be worth less?

I realize we have a plea agreement for this crime in place, but I still ask—- How can we slap Milton Willis on the wrist for His decision to get behind the wheel of a car, my son’s car no less and drive in an insane manner? Not just reckleless due to intoxication, but the way in which no person of Responsibility on any level would ever do so…According to forensics the car was going at a speed of at least 67mph, it missed two stop signs and skidded sideways for over 300 ft. The first car it hit, it imprinted my son’s license plate into it. My son could not possibly have tried to get control over the vehicle because Milton Willis was not seat belted in making that too impossible. This is not just an intoxication factor, it involves someone so out of control and out of touch with being Responsible that someone, my son, died as a result. Not only is there the alcohol and drug factor, but the past crimes for driving under the influence. Apparently Mr. Willis considers himself above the law. He has what we call in my world as a licensed marriage and family therapist a Pervasive Pattern of Behavior with driving and drinking. Please give Milton Willis the appropriate sentence he deserves and one that shows the LACK of thought and regard that he gave to Bradley’s life on the night he died. I am hoping today that you send him a message. One of Responsibility &
Accountability.

Now I would like to speak to Milton–

Milton, The question to you is WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? You claim to be Brad’s friend, but how dare you make us—Jim and I and our family and his friends come here twice to Sentence You. All to spare yourself a few more days out of jail. This is indicative of your behavior since the accident. You have never put Jim and I, nor my family and his friends first.*****This all seems to be about you – But not today!

IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED AND BRAD SITTING HERE, AND YOU DEAD HE WOULD BE RESPONSIBLE, ACT RESPONSIBLE, AND ACCEPT RESPONSIBILITY. More importantly to him, would be the Accountability for your friendship…

Mitlon, You were 51 years old when this crime was committed. That is my age. Shame on you and your recklessness, and your dangerous, insane behavior! Again, I ask you who are you? You cannot be the friend Brad used to describe to me.

All I wanted from the beginning of these very long days –some 15 months ago was your Acceptance of Responsibility and most importantly to me—- Your Accountability… Your Accountability would mean that you gave value to your friendship with Brad. But I never heard from you until more than a year after he died. Only after you pleaded guilty at your hearing did we hear from you. And– even that day was because you needed something from me… Your message went something like…” I know you need closure and so do I”…   I don’t get closure. Your choices have permanently rearranged my and Jim’s life… Our future… Our hopes…and you don’t get closure either… You are responsible for this.. I sat to write words that would express my sorrow and anger I kept coming back to a time-line. The time-line of how we got here today…

(Time Line):

***On June 6th – 2008 a man came to my front door. I never imagined being afraid of my own front door, but I am. That day permanently changed my life view. It changed many of the life views in this room today…of Brad’s family and friends

  1. When you were in the hospital we went to your mother’s house—We did this at a time that getting out of bed was difficult. We met with your brother Michael, Brooks and Kate Sullivan, who knew more than they were saying about the accident.   Your mother was present and some aunt or friend of the family named Lucy was there.   We wished the family well and asked to be contacted when you came out of your comma. We collected some of Brad’s things and left to plan Brad’s service that afternoon. Do you know what I got for that effort? What we got? Lucy wrote a letter to the judge stating that I had come down there and said Brad was responsible for the accident. This is not only insulting, but untrue. These insults and innuendos are a desperate attempt to protect a man who is GUILTY of this crime.   You could have stopped such nonsense.
  1. When you came out of your comma—- in the hospital at a time when we still could barely get out of bed we came to see you. Jim and I wished you a full recovery. You will never know how hard that day was for us. But then again, you haven’t asked.
  1. In August when you got home from the hospital and Rehab. I ventured south once again to wish you well…

*** At that time I gave you two books. Do you remember the books I gave you? Because they were Brad’s. He loved the messages in those books. On that occasion I offered you my written and verbal Forgiveness. THAT FORGIVENESS WAS FOR ME. THAT FORGIVENESS CAME BOTH FROM MY SPIRITUALITY AND BRAD’S. I HAD HOPED YOU TOO WOULD BENEFIT FROM IT. IT’S INTENT WAS NOT TO HAVE HATE IN MY HEART AS GETTING UP IN THE MORNING WAS LIKE A TIDAL WAVE RUSHING OVER ME — AND THEN ONCE AGAIN THERE IT WAS – THE FACT THAT MY SON HAD DIED. HE WAS GONE.

I had hoped from the beginning that I could somehow understand you and your actions. But that was never to be. There was never any explanation or remorse shown by you until now. Now when you need it for your Sentencing

  1. The fall came and went and I began having many conversations with the D.A. Matt Tag. He always let me know what was going on with your case and took the time I needed to get clarity on how this would all work. He always asked about Brad, and indulged me letting me express my stories. The funny thing about Matt Tag was that we didn’t start out on the same side of the fence. I believe I said something like – “ I am not your adversary but nor am I Milton’s… He said he understood, and I knew by the tone in his voice he did. He also had a job to do and I too understood. I remember thinking that I would need a place to sit in the middle of the courtroom. Torn between Brad’s love of his friends and the right of any county and its people to demand Responsibility…

The D.A. asked if we could all wait until after the Holiday’s last fall to begin what we still hoped would be a quick solution to upcoming legalities. Still- no word from you.

  1. January came around and Matt Tag true to his word called the first part to have a meeting. That meeting took place in our home. He prepared Jim and I for the events to come. The events that would take place the potential for all of the angels you and your attorney could possibly take. That meeting left Jim and I even more sad that we could not get to the Peace that both of us longed for… that family and friends longed for.   I still held out hope, but no calls came from you
  1. The one call I did get was from your attorney in January. It was not the one I expected —-as you called Ashely Harris–Brad’s friend –the day before and asked for my number. A number you already had. I had told your brother back in August when we met – I took Brad’s cell number and he also had the house number. Brooks has my email address as well. You clearly have my address as you sent us an apology letter in July.   So you could have communicated to me and to Jim in many ways… Your attorney that morning said something like….”could I say something nice on your behalf for your bail…. That your bail was too high, and money could be better spent on your defense, and OH- by the way—sorry for your loss”…I replied that I didn’t like anyone speaking for me, but that the judge could know that I had not seen any indication at that point that you were running from your responsibility. I never heard from you directly. I did however hear from Matt Tag. I discussed the uneasy feeling I got from the conversation with your attorney and asked what was said in court. To my horror not what I had said was mentioned but something else alluded to.  I told Matt Tag I would be at the next court date. No one would be speaking for me other than me…
  1. February –came and still with no calls Jim and I uneasy with the way things were going ventured south. We decided to visit the street site where Brad had died, and go to Jimmy O’s…We talked with the bartender on duty the night Brad died. We called you and your brother to meet with us – neither one of us got our phone call/s returned.
  1. The next thing we heard was how you and your attorney were blaming Brad. There was blaming the car, that Brad was somehow the driver, and the final blow— well that one hurt the most. Brad forced you to drive…

Brad forced a 51 year old man to drive down a street he goes everyday at least 67 miles per hour in a 25 mph zone, miss two stop signs and lose control of the car, skidding at least 300 feet.  I suppose he forced you to not buckle up as well?

That was the end of my HOPE. That was the end of contemplating which side of the courtroom I would sit on.
As you can plainly see it isn’t yours. Not only NO but Hell No will I let you take my son’s good name and trash it around the way you have yours Milton Willis!

Again— if the roles were reversed NO WAY would Brad ever NOT take Responsibility, and more importantly to him –would be the Accountability of the Friendship. He would have remained loyal to you no matter what it cost him… You sir are a coward!

There are two things I am sure of–

First, IF you were Brad’s friend then you were also family to him. I know many of them sit here today and have been a part of our family for a very long time. Second, he would never have forced anyone to do anything. As the detectives and police officers reviewed his case they said repeatedly that he did everything right that night. Except get in the car with you someone he trusted. He had 0.03% alcohol in his system. That is less than one drink. We have known this since we read his autopsy report in July following his death. Something no parent should ever have to read. — And you sir know that fact. Not only do you know it you stated it in your letter of apology after your guilty plea. I quote “ Brad was not drinking and smoking with us that night”. He was a lover not a fighter and would have said to you when you– Finally came to get him with –His car,– No way are you driving drunk! He was a poster child of what to do in that instance in a Good Way! And there are plenty of people here today and not to tell you otherwise. He learned that through the school of hard knocks, but once he learned something he became the Example of what to do—because that was his way…and more importantly he did it. He would never have allowed you to drive the car his grandparents had just given two months prior, in the manner in which you did, for any reason! He was a young man of Pride and Responsibility.

You Milton Willis are NOT Brad’ friend. The behavior you have shown is unworthy of calling yourself his friend.

You made two choices the night you killed Bradley. One to get in a car in what appears to be some kind of rage and the intoxication just made it worse. You drove recklessly, and in an insane manner that I can only imagine what the last two minutes of Brad’s life were like? He must have felt so Betrayed by your behavior and your actions. I can only imagine. He must have been saying what I keep saying –

Who Are You Milton Willis? Are you this nice guy at One with the Sea? Or are you the rage filled drunk that killed my son, who didn’t bother to reach out to his friends and family until you needed us on your side for Sentencing, and had tried to trash Brad’s good name on the way to jail? Again, the Betrayal Brad must have felt must have been immeasurable to most of us here… You cannot possibly know this, but he had a life list. A bucket list for those of us over 50, but for him at 24 a 3 page handwritten life list of all of the things he would do in life. The list is amazing and funny and sad for those of us left behind. On the anniversary of his death this past June, we took his ashes out to sea and I let everyone onboard read the list. I kept telling everyone there was a real “kicker” at the end. As everyone laughed and cried reading the list it wasn’t until they got to the last page, the last line item… It reads

“Surf with Milton Willis in Hawaii”… You see he included you on his life list of all of the most important things he wanted to do. The very last thing. Instead he got your Betrayal. His death.

** I have come to the only conclusion I can at this time…

You are not the person you claim to be but the one who showed up on June 6th 2008 that took my son’s life.  I don’t want you entangled with my son’s good name. But, let this not be about the grieving mother… This is about Brad.  Who until today…seemed faceless.. He has a face today and the voice of his friends and family to let you know how many ways the world has changed because of your behavior.

Bradley James Dillahunty was the sweetest child. He was so easy going that my best friend often called him “Perfect Child”… To say he was a caring & thoughtful person, one who would do anything for his friends and family seems like a simple statement, but most definitely true. He was funny and I honestly didn’t know anyone who didn’t like him. He was so gifted musically. His humor and his music which I miss so much I could not begin to express it here. I can see his beautiful smile, and hear him say all the time to his friends…Love Ya Man…

My heart will always be full with his laughter and music, but I miss his physical presence so much I don’t know how to get through some days. He does not deserve to be entangled with you anymore Milton. He deserves the great reputation he earned in his short life. Not the least of which is Responsible. Not the least of which is Accountable.

My last words are not mine, but the Award the Santa Margarita Catholic High School Football team established in his name. He graduated a scholar athlete in 02’ and made a great impact as a coach and a player…

In their words:

It is a very dark place that you will go to Milton. Just know on your darkest day it won’t even compare with the loss of Brad. Nothing can equal that pain I assure you…

You should have been so lucky that he called you friend…